This is the last in a series of wonderful insights from dear friends. Thank you to all who participated. Your input has come at time of great transition for our family. Your experiences have touched our daughters’ hearts at a time when it’s been very helpful for them to know they are not alone.
With no further adieu, this is Chelle. She is amazing. We’ve always been destined to be friends…we just didn’t know until summer. Check out how incredible she is!
Dear 15 year old me…
I wish I could tell you all the things coming your way. Both the good and the bad. But that wouldn’t be fair to all that you will learn and how much you will grow. You see one thing I’ve learned over the last 21 years, since I was your age, is that life is going to throw you curve balls. You play softball so I can use this analogy and it may make sense to you…Sometimes those curve balls are placed so perfectly it’s a strike, others are way outside and occasionally some are so far inside, it hits you and it hurts. But other times, you see it coming and are prepared to hit it just right to make a good play.
I know what your thinking (because I’m you just older) that this letter is just some guilt trip to make you do what’s right… and it is kind of is, but mostly it’s a letter of love. A letter of warning. A letter of self-worth. You don’t see it right now, but the way you are behaving will lead you on a path that can be good or bad. It’s up to you to decide. I know your boy crazy, want to be grown up, want to drive, and be the center of everyone’s lives. Not all of those things are bad. It’s good to like boys! It’s good to want to be responsible! It’s good to want to be your best! But don’t get caught up in the worlds version of those things… it will lead you on a path that will bring a lot of heartache. Trust me… I know!
There are going to be times ahead that will make you doubt your worth. Things will happen that will cause you to want to die, or at least hide away for eternity. But you are better than those feelings. That is just Satan telling you that. You see, God will never make you feel those feelings. He wants you to be happy and boy does he have a lot in store for you! Don’t give up!
Don’t worry about what the popular kids think! And don’t try to be like them. You have so many wonderful qualities that are all your own!!! The Lord created you to be you, and no one else. He loved you enough to send you to a home that had the gospel and great support in all your trials. Love your sister! She will be your best friend through life. She also has a hard road ahead of her so never lose her friendship. Show your brother you love him. He may never be your best friend, but he’s your big brother and needs you. Don’t smother him, but help him. Do kind things for him. He’ll need your love and support. He just doesn’t know it.
I’m proud of where you are going. I know its hard to see now, but you are not what others think of you. You are a daughter of a loving and kind and merciful Heavenly Father. You will make it. I wish in some ways I could go back and make you see just how special and amazing you are. But then you wouldn’t be who I am today. We can’t change what others do, only how we react to what happens to ourselves. Things are going to happen that will be devastating, heartbreaking, and even so horrible you won’t know how you’ll ever survive. But you will. There will wonderful things come into your life that will bring you so much JOY, you’ll think your heart will explode. There will be tough times where you will feel lost and afraid, and other times you’ll know exactly where you belong. I’ll be honest, life sucks sometimes. It really does! I won’t sugarcoat it. But there are more wonderful and extraordinary days than there are bad. There are a lot of “blah” days too, but you can make those “blah” days into happy days. it’s all in your attitude and how you react to what comes your way.
One thing I wish I could go back and change… FEAR… Don’t let fear consume you! BE COURAGEOUS! Embrace the changes with excitement!! This life is too short to be afraid of the unknown. Because the future is all unknown. And always BE KIND. You’ll never regret being kind. Watch your words. Words can cut deeper than a sword. Words can have lasting effects that you will have no control over. So chose to make every word worthy of being said to the LORD. In the end, He’s the one that matters most. If you have offended anyone, you have offended the Lord, and he will hold you accountable. Accountability and consequences go hand in hand. You need to be accountable. You don’t get to choose the consequences so make good choices and hold yourself accountable. Your actions are yours. Every time you act, you make a choice. You always have a choice. Others may act and you will have no control over the situation, but how you respond to that situation is your own choice.
I love you. It’s been 36 years in the making, and there have been times that I didn’t feel like I deserved all the love that I have received, but I now realize I do deserve all the LOVE the Lord has given to me.
I’m married to the man of our dreams and have kids that I love! Joy and happiness await you!!! You will have a blessed life. Keep the faith little me. You’re not alone. I don’t have all the answers just yet… but I do know that you are loved. Oh, and if you could spend more time writing and practicing the piano, that would be great… 😉
Love you!!
-Me
Adventures of the Domestic Engineer 